What My 40s Are Teaching Me.

 And here I go again. After seven months, I'm writing again, and this is a clear example of what I call a lack of consistency in what I do. A clear example of how my 40s are a turning point for reevaluating my values ​​and living more authentically, because that's what it's all about. My 40s are that midpoint of life where we look back on all the good, the bad, and the decisions we've made, restructuring our lives. For some, it's a late start; for others, it's a continuation of the things they've been doing well, but they always feel like something's missing for them to be completely happy. In short, for me, my 40s have been a redesign and a rediscovery of unfulfilled dreams.

For me, this year in particular has been a redesign of certain aspects that I had never taken seriously, or that emerged in the search for tranquility. These concepts, with the help of my therapist, have forged a substantial change in my life over the last 41 years. One of the aspects I've focused on most is creating my own shield of self-love, which for some reason I had completely lost. I lost my way in how to avoid exposing myself completely and allowing myself to be hurt without being able to do anything about it. In this new stage, and especially outside my country, I've discovered that I can perform any job I take on to the best of my ability. I've found a new career as a housing specialist, and this has been like evaluating the satisfaction, purpose, and alignment of my activities with my strengths.

I've thought about my legacy, the mark I want to leave, and how my actions can contribute to something greater than myself. Likewise, I've also learned, or rather readjusted, my relationships: to cultivate authentic connections, balance giving and receiving, and above all, learn to let go of toxic relationships. I've learned to greatly value my mind and emotions—or rather, to manage my thoughts, accept my emotions, and develop habits of mental well-being. I can assure you that, along with taking care of my body, these have been difficult to achieve this year. Both mental and physical health require exercise, proper nutrition, and adequate rest. And finally, money: organizing my finances, reducing financial anxiety, and using money as a tool to live according to my values.

Writing about this reminds me that many of my failures have actually been structural wounds, such as a lack of resources, grief that could never be resolved, or dreams that were put on hold due to external circumstances. Like becoming a father. I still don't know if I'll be able to achieve that dream. From that perspective, it hasn't been enough to simply tell myself, “You have to be more disciplined.” I've had to acknowledge the privilege that sometimes blinds us and offer genuine empathy. I feel that happiness began to arrive when I accepted those broken dreams, validated the pain of others, and started building a community based on compassion, not comparison. Admitting our limitations and sharing our wounds is also a driving force that propels us forward.

Writing all this today has made me reflect on how my path has been marked by moments of scarcity and grief, but also by the possibility of creating bonds that celebrate every step, however small. I hope this is a call to see our limitations as doors, not walls.

I heard a phrase I really liked: “Everything gets more beautiful in your 40s,” and I think @jorgearandamx is right to say it.

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